i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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