I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Mom said you looked used
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I need a beard to bite.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
