Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
