I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
