we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
