8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
