i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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