I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
