How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize