The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
