but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
