Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
