i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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