thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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