so that wasnt chicken after all
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
