I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
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