Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
