Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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