I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize