I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
