All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
