Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Houston, we have a squirter
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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