How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
