I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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