Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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