that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
