If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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