I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
