Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
