never play flip cup with pint glasses
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize