I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
