Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
