we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
