But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
