After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
