Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
