i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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