Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
