Dual....:-)
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Randomize
