She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
