Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
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