you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
