foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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