Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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