yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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