My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
