This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
