their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize