you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
