just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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