with your own penis?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
