At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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