I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
