C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
barbara walters just said penis...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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