haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
