I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
