Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize