Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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