after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
