it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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