Buhtt sex?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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