Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
