Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
