i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
