oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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