well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
