THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
