ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
