cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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