Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
